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Dear Counselor, how can I refuse negative peer pressure from my friends?

Posted in Peer Pressure, Relationships on 16th Oct, 2009 with 3 Responses
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Negative peer pressure from friends is being forced into doing something by your friends against your will.
Refusing negative peer pressure from friends is a technique that everyone can pick up. The degree of difficulty will depend on where you are, the situation you might find yourself in and what your friends are pressurizing you to do. There is no clear cut way of resisting peer pressure but here are a few suggestions.

  1.   Examine your situation. Listen for phrases that spell trouble-
    “Everybody is doing it. What is stopping you?”
     “You should try everything at least once. Experience is the best teacher”
     “Don’t be a coward. There is really no big deal”
     “Laws and rules are there to be bent”
    Whatever the situation, if it makes you feel uneasy or seems risky, tell your friends so and give them your reasons. If that fails, walk away.
  2. Always weigh out the consequences- Will it affect your health? Will you be breaking the school rule or the law? What will happen to you if you are caught? How will it affect your schooling and future life? Are you ready for the consequences? What are your instincts or sixth sense telling you?
    Never do something bad or which will have negative consequences on you simply for the sake of pleasing your friends.
    Ask for help from a trusted adult. A lot of adults will have been confronted by the same dilemmas you are facing now. Teachers, religious leaders, counselors and family friends are all ready to help you.
    When you have made your decision, stick to it. You will have proved you are in control of your own life and true friends will also respect you for your decisions.
  3. With a little imagination, you can refuse without saying the word “NO” and without losing your friends. Suggest something you all enjoy doing as alternative e.g. music, dance, drama, sports, religious activities etc.
  4. Use your parents or guardians as an excuse.
    “My father will be very cross with me and may even refuse to pay my school fees if he found I did such a thing”

If all else fails, just walk away. May be your friends are not good friends.

3 Responses

  • Carol 5th November, 2009 at 3:35 PM

    Hullo my dear, I personally believe that the best solution is for you to believe in yourself and focus towards the future. In life when a problem occurs, you face it alone. Others can only contribute a little. Concience kills faster than physical pain

    Further more, try to be more busy.Too busy for rumors and useless talks. A brain that’s ever thinking is too slow to be idle.

    Reply
  • Bbuka Anthony 16th March, 2010 at 8:57 AM

    Peer pressure is a situation where you friends want you to do something you may not want to do, or you have never done before because they want you to be like them or feel like them and at times this may have bad effects.
    It is very easy to refuse:
    1. Ask yourself the value you will earn from that, as long as it is negative, please ignore.
    2. Think about the future that you have to live ahead of you. Dont do anything that will hurt your future.
    3. Look at your home, parents and relatives who will stay with you when you go through this danger after you getting in trouble.
    4. Do your people have that ability to uphold and sustain you in times of danger??, some of these peers may be from well to do famulies yet you are not.
    I wish you take careful decisions on this.

    Reply
  • Bbuka Anthony 7th April, 2010 at 7:23 AM

    Peers are people of the same age, interest, character, sex and otherwise.
    A peer can possess either of the above or attimes all .
    Many times the people we call friends can really be danderous, so I would advise you to behave in the following way;
    Avoid doing anything you have not seriously thought about. Always ask yourself how much you are to benefit from what you are about to do.
    Secondly always think about the long term outcome. Is it going to hurt anybody in the process or after. Think about how they will feel when they find out you were involved in such.
    All in all take a personal decision before you act and be ready to take the blame.

    Reply

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