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Dear Counselor, my parents always tell me to resist peer pressure. What is peer pressure and is peer pressure always bad?

Posted in Peer Pressure, Relationships on 16th Oct, 2009 with 0 Responses
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The phrase “Peer Pressure” comes from two words; peer and pressure.

A peer is someone in your own age group or social group like a classmate or schoolmate.

Pressure is the feeling that you are being pushed towards making a certain choice –good or bad.

Peer pressure is the feeling that someone in your own age group or social group is pushing you to change your attitude, values or behavior to conform to group norms –good or bad.
Peer pressure can also refer to the influence exerted by a peer group in encouraging a person to change his or her attitudes, values or behavior in order to conform to the group norms- good or bad. A boy may be challenged by the group to prove his manhood by having a girlfriend and having sex with her. A group of girls may make fun of the way another girl is dressed, pressuring members of the group to dress only in one acceptable style. A group of ambitious, academically hardworking students may influence an academically lazy student in the group to read harder to improve on the grades.

The pressure to conform (to do what others are doing or going along with the crowd) may be difficult to resist because it is part of human nature for people to want to be accepted and liked by their peers. Also when people are unaware of what to do in a social situation, they naturally look to others for clues about what is acceptable and not acceptable.

Young people especially, find it difficult to resist peer pressure because they need to belong and be accepted by their peers and because young people are more willing to behave negatively towards those who are not members of their peer group or those members who don’t conform to the group norms. As a result, peer pressure can influence the choices young people make – contributing to poor decisions or reinforcing good decisions.

Peer pressure is not always bad. There is good peer pressure and bad peer pressure. Good peer pressure is called positive peer pressure and bad peer pressure is called negative peer pressure.

Negative peer pressure is when your peers influence you to do something maybe you don’t really want to do or is not in your best interest or may be bad to your health or whose consequencies you are not ready for e.g. drinking  alcohol, taking drugs, smoking, engaging in sex activities, escaping from schools etc. Negative peer pressure can get you in trouble with your parents, with the school or even with the law. At school, negative peer pressure may lead to lower school attendance, drop in grades or even school dropout.

Positive peer pressure is when your peers influence you to do good things such as getting involved in school activities or doing things to help you reach your goals. Sometimes you need positive peer pressure when you don’t have quite the courage to do something and your peers give you the extra push or self-esteem to follow through with it. This type of peer pressure can lead you to great things like new found talents, good grades, positive attitude, higher self-esteem and self-confidence. At school, positive peer influence may your improve grades, improve your confidence and make you try out more things or getting more involved in school activities.

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