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Dear Counselor, what is the difference between lust and love?

Posted in Relationships on 8th Oct, 2009 with 0 Responses
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Lust is a strong sexual desire or a strong sexual attraction towards someone usually based on physical appearance and looks. It is lust if even before you know someone’s name, you are already fantasizing about what it would be like having sex with the person. Lust is when you like and value part of the person like the body and you are not concerned about the other persons’ emotions or mind.
Partners in a lustful relationship come close only to have fun and place their needs and wants ahead of those of their partners and don’t have any commitment plans in their minds. A relationship based on lust can only last as long as the two people are physically close and find each other sexually attractive. Once that physical desire ends, the interest in the person may also end and looks for another person.

Love is an emotion for another person and is not selfish. Love is when you care about someone more than you care about yourself and you put that person’s needs and wants before yours. Love is when you like and respect the whole person (body, heart, mind, emotions). Love is given freely without any expectation of receiving anything in return. In love you share joy and sorrow and you are always there for each other’s needs. Love does not need sex to survive or even thrive. Even if the person you love tells you sex will have to wait, you don’t care. Love is based on complete trust and mutual understanding and people in love have commitment plans in mind.

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