The United Nations defines violence against women as “any act that results in or is likely to result in physical, sexual or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life.”

Violence against women and girls is a serious major human rights and public health concern. Violence against women encompasses a wide range of abuses, from physical, sexual and psychological violence occurring in the family and in the general community.

Violence against women takes many forms including battering (beating, slapping), sexual abuse of women and girls (rape including marital rape, coerced sex, harassment), female genital mutilation, intimidation and sexual harassment at school and at the place of work, forced prostitution, trafficking for sex and sex tourism, child marriage, widow inheritance and cleansing (both of which increasing HIV infection risk), intimate partner violence, dowry-related violence etc.

In Uganda, violence against women is widespread.
The 2006 Uganda Demographic House Survey (UDHS) found that:

• 60 percent of women (15-19) years had ever experienced physical violence. With 67 percent of those who had experienced physical violence saying an intimate partner was responsible.
• 39 percent reported experiencing sexual violence. With 44 percent of women who had experienced sexual violence saying their current husband or partner was responsible.
• 24 percent of the women reported forced first sexual encounter.

Though violence against women is very rampant, the shame associated with it may contribute to the fact that most women often suffer it in silence, afraid of repercussions and stigma and never tell anyone.

The abused women and girls are more likely to suffer from depression, loss of self-esteem, anxiety, sexual dysfunction and many reproductive health problems including miscarriage and still birth, premature delivery, HIV and Sexuality Transmitted Infections (STIs), unwanted pregnancies and abortions.

Female Genital mutilation (FGM) is the practice of cutting any part of the external female genitalia for non-medical reasons and is sometimes called female circumcision. It is a cultural practice well ingrained in certain cultures and is carried out by traditional circumcisers.

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that around the world between 100 and 132 million girls and women have been subjected to FGM and each year a further 2 million girls are at risk. Female genital mutilation is mostly practiced in Africa. In Uganda, female genital mutilation is most prevalent in Kapchorwa, Bukwo and Karamoja.

The most common form of female genital mutilation involves the cutting or removal of the clitoris and other vaginal tissues. The reasons for carrying out FGM varies from culture to culture with some believing that FGM reduces a woman’s desire for sex and in doing so reduces the chances of having sex outside marriage.

Internationally, female genital mutilation is considered as a violation of the human rights of girls and women as it involves removing and damaging healthy and normal female genital tissue and interferes with the natural functions of girls’ and women’s bodies.

Female genital mutilation (FGM) has no health benefits for girls and women. FGM harms women’s psychological, sexual and reproductive health. Immediate consequences of FGM can include severe pain, shock, excessive bleeding, tetanus, urine retention and injury to nearby genital tissues. Long-term consequences of FGM can include recurrent bladder and urinary tract infections, infertility, increased risk to childbirth complications and newborn deaths and increased vulnerability to HIV.

Bad touches constitute a category of sexual abuse that is suffered silently by most women for various reasons. Things like touching your breasts, stroking your bums, caressing your thighs in class or taxis, are incidences that are not right and safe for you as young people.
Because of the fact that they are common and yet less punished, it becomes every young girl’s responsibility to guard her self from such humiliating touches.

Through dressing better, in less revealing clothes, one could limit the occurrence of bad touches as there will not be much exposure to whoever wants to touch; adopting better sitting postures say in classes would block any chances of a boy from caressing ones ajar thighs; choosing hangout spots should be done carefully as some places are common with boys and men that would touch every descent and not woman or girl.

Your ways of interaction with the male sex should be straight forward and should not send mixed signals and lastly girls and women need to check their time of movement in certain areas, just so to keep themselves safe.

Forced marriage is against your right as a child and I commend you for your refusal yet, and do not give up on your self. Your situation is indeed a worrying one but could have a way out of it, depending on the situations surrounding your life.

Lets explore some of these situations;-

Assuming you were in a day School, not far from where your parents stay, you could explain your challenge to one of your teachers or head teacher and request them to talk to your parents about the benefits of them leaving you in school.

In another situation, that you have relatives with girl children in school, try to talk to them and request their assistance to talk to your parents, so they could change your parent’s attitudes.

Let’s not also forget the possible reasons for them to force you into marriage. May be your parents feel like you are not studying hard enough, that probably you’re too jumpy with boys or are you too indisciplined.  Some parents still think that marriage is the best place to correct indiscipline, or the only success for academically challenged girls. Should this be true, you as a person need to do better in your behavior, character, academics and personal discipline and way of communicating to your parents so that they can treasure you more as an asset or investment for their better lives as well in future rather then force you into marriage.

In a situation that your parents are just being abusive and do not see value in you going to school, you could visit the Child and Family Protection Desk at the nearest police post in your home area, so they could better help you all as a family. This Desk has friendly officers [not necessarily Police officers] that have special skills in helping families with challenges relating to abuse. Both forced marriage and chasing you from home can be classified as child abuse and neglect.

So my dear troubled youth, try to assess the circumstances surrounding your challenge and seek guidance from a social worker, counselor, religious leaders, other relatives, teachers and head teacher, organizations or police for help.