Dear Counselor, I am a boy of 15. I get very strong sexual feelings when I sit near girls at school. Am I normal and how can I control my sexual feelings?
Written by Counselor at SchoolNet on 1st January, 2009
Sex feelings are a normal part of growing and can be controlled using Abstinence skills. These skills are very rarely mentioned when people talk of Abstinence yet they are very important. Some of the abstainance skills include:
Self awareness: Your ability to identify the things that trigger your sexual feelings.
Imagination: Your ability to create in your mind , options to limit your feeling beyond your present reality.
Conscience: A deep inner awareness of the separating the right options from a wrong ones.
Independent will: Ability to decide on a response to what exactly triggered your sexual feeling, free from all other influence
The following may help you to control your sexual feeling:
First you should appreciate that having sexual feelings is a normal. In fact you would be abnormal if you did not have them. However those feelings do not mean anything and you don’t have to do anything about them. Nothing will happen when sexual feeling are ignored. In fact after some time the feelings may change or even vanish.
Secondly you should avoid situations and behavior that can cause you to get temptations of having sexual intercourse.
Then be very active in many activities. When you are young you are so energetic and you need to use that energy to engage in productive activities or to develop a particular skill e.g sports. In this way your mind will not think about the sexual feelings. I think there are many more ways some even individual specific we have to continue thinking about them.